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Joke of the Day

"In London, a man gets robbed every 4.5 minutes. And he's getting fed up with it."

"Remember when Muhammad Ali died? Yeah, neither does he."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never begged to have a lentil on my face"

"Cucumbers are 95% water, Jesus can walk on water... I can walk on cucumbers so I am 95% Jesus."

"The Hunger Games Don't they play those in Africa?"

"*logs onto Facebook* *sees 347 ultrasound pictures* *logs off forever*"

"Horse buying tip: ALWAYS ask how much horsepower a horse has. If a horse has less than one horsepower, you've got yourself a crap horse."

"I turn to my brother and ask Hey bro, what's the most you've jerked off in one day? ""About 3 dudes""."

"Make the little things count, teach midgets math"

"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."