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Joke of the Day

"In London, a man gets robbed every 4.5 minutes. And he's getting fed up with it."

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"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) A bunch of freeloaders lie around in bed & support themselves by violating child labor laws."
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in panic like everyone else in the car."
"Are you the fourth derivative of a position function? Cause you're a jerk!"
"Be sure to take the time to honor a soldier today by punching a politician in the face."
"We need to stop joking on fat people so much. They have enough on their plate already."
"Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm."
"Parents: Your room is a mess. Me: You really need to see my life."
"Why did the semen cross the road? I put on the wrong sock this morning"
"I love the smell of relapse in the morning"