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Joke of the Day

"How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb? They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it"

"What does a fat girl desire but already have? A ten chin"

"After 30 years of shopping, my wife still has nothing to wear today."

"What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people? Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked."

"When I asked for my wife's hand in marriage, I didn't realize how often I'd just get the finger."

"Honey, we should really think about becoming parents. I mean, we've already had the kids."

"I was thinking about making a sodium joke ...but Na."

"I took over 50,000 steps today by taping my fitness bracelet to my Roomba."

"Marmite ... But paw may not."

"I was once accused of stealing money from work. I didn't do it but it was nice to know management also thought I wasn't getting paid enough."