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Joke of the Day

"""Hey, let's share a bottle of wine and try out the shriek-laugh we've been rehearsing."" -The women next to everyone everywhere."

"In honor of the Million Muslim March... What do you get when you add a million lesbians to the Million Man March? Two million people that don't do dick."

"What does a skeleton use to carry his bones? A CART-ilage"

"What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons? Those are the wrong Sais"

"A real woman can raise a child by herself, but a real man would never LET her"

"Half Life 3 lol"

"What's the best part about going in without a condom? The abortion."

"*talking into the phone, loudly enough that I know those ladies can hear me* WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA."

"What's the longest piece of furniture in the school? The multiplication table."

"Why is it called a shampoo.. If it smells good?"