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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade? Drill drill drill."

"Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses."

"Recently I was asked how I view Lesbian relationships... apparently, ""In HD"" was not the correct answer."

"They say every 2 out of 3 people live next door to a pedophile Not me, I live next to 2 smoking hot 8 year olds"

"I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together."

"Before the wedding I have loved all the women on earth, after the wedding one woman less."

"Most TV ads: men are dumb, women are annoying, you're stupid & that's great, eat this fatty, America!, 4-hr erections, you're so alone."

"My therapist said I need to stop listening to Ke$ha on my iPod and start acting my age. So I bought Ke$ha on vinyl. Tik Tok."

"Charlie couldn't believe he was being allowed into the Chocolate Factory... ...his girlfriend had been dead against it for years!"

"Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee."