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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses."

"Why do you never see any gay Egyptian Sailors? Because they're all in de Nile."

"Searching for porn gifs... Results be like, ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."""

"So I went to my Dr. and said I needed something for my joints... He handed me a lighter"

"My psychiatrist says I have revenge issues... I'll show him."

"Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying ""I don't know?"" whenever you ask them a question."

"One good way to prepare for marriage is to have someone come over and critique the way you load the dishwasher."

"Congrats to #LeonardoDiCaprio on his first Best Actor Oscar. You can stop sacrificing goats now."

"I called the sexual abuse hotline for help. ...Apparently it's only for victims"

"My favorite knock knock joke ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there"" ""I eat mop"" ""I eat mop who?"" *Laughter and pointing*"