116917
Joke of the Day
"Why did the tortoise get arrested? Because he got there before the hare."
Next Joke
"Arnold's new tell all book. Arnold Schwarzenegger just wrote a new tell all book because no one could understand his audio book."
"What does a guy with a big penis have for breakfast? Well, I had eggs for breakfast."
"If I asked you if you were dumb, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
"What kind of key gets shit done? A do key."
"Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013, .... Stare at your phone like a normal person."
"It's weird how after they couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together the King's men were like ""Let's give the horses a shot at it"""
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"
"I forgot to bring my bags to the grocery store, people looked at me like I drove there on an aerosol can, then slit a baby seal's throat."
"Whats the difference between children and lesbians? Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs."