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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between children and lesbians? Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs."

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"Julius Caesar bought a Google GPS and said, 'Youtube, route us'."
"The people doing it in pornos are in love, right?"
"Working on my resume. How do I spin ""total mess"" into a marketable skill?"
"My greatest contribution to most situations is just not making it worse."
"Superman graffitis a wall: ""Batman is a moron"" Batman writes under that, ""Superman is Clark Kent""."
"One time a guy left a full glass of sangria behind on a first date and I pretended I forgot my sunglasses so I could run back and chug it."
"I heard they put a supermarket behind Bilbo's hobbit hole... Unexpected item in baggins area."
"Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them."
"I've been calling my wife ""honey"" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name."
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