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Joke of the Day

"Today I masturbated 8 times! A personal record for me... In my defence Schindler's list was a long film"

"The Holy Liar A: ""I dont trust in god."" B: ""You're an atheist? :o"" A: ""No, i think he's a liar."""

"Why did Princess Diana Cross the Road? She wasn't buckled in."

"I pulled my groin the other day.. .. It felt so good, I pulled it one more time."

"After all these years, I can tell my wife still cares for me... Whenever she has an orgasm, she calls to let me know."

"An officer gets shot in a marijuana raid..."

"My best mate is entering the X-Factor this year and I wanted to give him all the help and support I can. So I killed his mum."

"Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't run home"

"Oh, you love your boyfriend? Please, go ahead and saturate my Facebook news feed with your feelings."

"Hear about the lazy baker who wanted a pay increase? He rarely kneeded the dough."