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Joke of the Day
"Why are pirates, pirates? They just *arrrrrrrrr*."
Next Joke
"The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. ""Look guys,"" I explain. ""When I said I had a pot belly..."""
"TIL Billy Mays served in the US military It wasn't for long though it was only 1999."
"I think a ladies pubic hair should be called... A muffstache."
"I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not."
"She died doing what she loved! Telling me how to drive."
"I took an 8 hour class on door-making... Don't knock it till you try it"
"What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest? uuuuuUuuuUUUUuuuuuuuUuUUUuuuuuuuuuU"
"Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it"
"What brings a Jewish family closer together? The bristles"