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Joke of the Day

"I think a ladies pubic hair should be called... A muffstache."

"People keep saying drugs are dangerous, I abused lots of drugs and I'm fine. It's only the people watching me through power sockets that are annoying."

"What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant? I've bean everywhere, ma'am!"

"My grandfather never forgave the Japanese for Pearl Harbor... ...until I explained to him that it was the Americans who made that movie."

"A female friend of mine recently got Tinder. Tinder: Where ""Get laid tonight"" isn't just something you see on pornsite banner ads."

"Why cant you watch TV in Afghanistan? Because of the tele-ban."

"Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with ""If you buy this, women will have sex with you"""

"Who makes coffee for the U.N.? The French Press Secretary!"

"I never judge people by the color of their skin. That's fucking stupid. I judge them by their cell phones."

"Knock knock Who's there? Owls. Owls who? They certainly do"