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Joke of the Day

"A termite walks into a bar and asks... ... Where's the bar tender?"

"I was dropped on my head as a baby but not as hard as the pound just dropped."

"Are you an exception? I bet I can catch you."

"How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe? No- Good. Yes- That's too much."

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... ... Then it hit me!"

"The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest."

"Things that are dangerous- -riding a motorcycle -sharks -riding sharks"

"Do you ever wake up. Kiss the person beside you, and just be thankful to be alive. I did. Not really appreciated on flights apparently"

"Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon."

"If shame burned calories, I'd be back to my birth weight by now"