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Joke of the Day

"Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon."

"At the grocery store, buying 6 of the same item Cashier: Are these good? Me: No. I'm buying all of them just to save others from suffering"

"Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you? Because he doesn't know the time of day."

"Plagiarism is bad? Change a few words, that shit is yours. It's like when you change a baby's clothes- new baby. New baby that's yours now."

"So Obama's leaving, and Trump is going into office I orange really is the new black."

"Want to hear a joke about ebola? You probably won't get it."

"My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car."

"If we were on a sinking ship and there was.. Only one life vest... I would miss you so much."

"Did you hear what happened to Lot's wife? She got assaulted"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I'm not really a fan of the Indy 500"