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Joke of the Day

"Loaf me, loaf me, say that you knead me."

"Whats the worst part of eating 11 raw oysters out of your grandmothers vagina? Realizing you only put 10 in"

"Syria has appealed for international assistance today, after a boatload of 500 Greeks arrived seeking a better life."

"What do you get when you cross a child and an alligator? An alligator."

"My dad I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"How do we know for sure that Darth Vader isn't black? Because he keeps on saying ""I am your father"""

"Q: How is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music? A: If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat."

"Imagine if Hannibal was a university professor I'd love to go to a Hannibal Lecture!"

"I was tasked with ordering coffee supplies for the office... I sent an email to all the staff asking if they wanted flavored creamers or regular creamers. Their answers were half-and-half."

"Did you know that if you pull off a lizard's tail it'll grow back? And if you pull it off again the lizard will be like, ""Dude, c'mon..."""