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Joke of the Day

"Do you ever wake up. Kiss the person beside you, and just be thankful to be alive. I did. Not really appreciated on flights apparently"

"How to change a baby: 1. Swap it out with a Labrador pup when no one's looking"

"They call my sister the Titanic because she once went down on a bunch of Irish peasants"

"Knock Knock...Who's there? HIPPA...HIPPA Who?...Sorry, Can't tell you."

"The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off."

"What's the difference in the KKK and the Supreme Court? The KKK dresses in white and scares the hell out of black people, the Supreme Court dresses in black and scares the hell out of white people."

"Why did the sweet toothed scientist blow up his monkey? He wanted some Rhesus pieces."

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool I gave him a glass of water."

"Men are like cement. After getting laid they take a long time to get hard."

"Good kid joke. Lame adult joke. Knock knock. Who's there? Salad. Salad who? It's the salad! Lettuce in!"