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Joke of the Day

"Imagine a giraffe. Now imagine the giraffe trying to get on a pool float. Now put my face on the giraffe. That's about right."

"accidentally called out my dentist's name during my colonoscopy"

"Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets."

"I understand the face situation but you don't have to be ugly on the inside too"

"Back in my day you knew who your real friends were because they ranked you in order of importance on Myspace."

"Whats all of this fuss about reposts? I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)"

"Have you heard of that new film about the tractor? I've just seen the trailer."

"My wife just gave me that come hither look and when I come hithered she pointed to the trash"

"A reality star, a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. And Josh Duggar orders a drink."

"How do you propose to a stoner? Marriage ya wanna?"