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Joke of the Day

"""You know what, that's some ?.."" ""Calm down you're being irrational right now."""

"Henry VIII would be glad to know that in a post-Game Of Thrones world he actually seems pretty chill"

"I think that even the most strident libertarian would agree that the US founders never envisioned the unchecked powers of the Girl Scouts."

"I tried S/M once, and ended up with a dominatrix who was unusually cruel. Instead of using a whip she would make me do fractions in my head."

"My cat is out of control! Taming Wild Cats by Claud Face"

"""Am I the first man you have ever loved?"" he said. ""Of course,"" she answered ""Why do men always ask the same question?""."

"What came first the car or the wheel? The car because a wheel isn't cary fast but a car is wheely fast."

"Steven Gerard has finished his book about his football career, the problem is that he hasn't got a Title..."

"[last supper] drunk jesus: *swinging baguette wildly* You want a piece of me!?"

"The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it."