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Joke of the Day

"How does Jesus make his coffee? Hebrews it!"

"Why did the bartender put on a sweater? She thought it was a little drafty."

"Little Monster: I hate my teacher. Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!"

"Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep? Their cicadan rhythm is off"

"[1st date] -I'm a fish whisperer. Wow, what does that mean? -*whispers* Fish. Oh... Haha um what do you- -*whispers right in her ear* Fish."

"Did you know that Iceland... ...is only one sea away from Ireland?"

"I thought I found a baby owl today that needed help. He was an adult pigmy owl who let me pick him up then clawed and bit me. He is free now"

"If at first you don't succeed . . . don't try skydiving."

"""I know"" - me, on something I don't know"

"If my cat didn't want to smoke cigarettes then he never should have bought that leather jacket"