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Joke of the Day

"Why did the bartender put on a sweater? She thought it was a little drafty."

"I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?"

"What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.? His brother with the DVR"

"I asked my best friend if he was gay or not. I never got a straight answer."

"googling ways to dispose of a body,mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen"

"[Xmas morning] wife: Honey, is this a dolphin? We agreed no dolphins. ""dolphin-shaped gift flopping wildly under tree* me: JUST OPEN IT"

"What do you get when two giraffes collide? a giraffic jam!"

"The rising new trend is "" An@l Bleaching "". Usually I would be against such an activity ,but....Some ***holes do need to LIGHTEN UP !!"

"One day I'll cure blindness. You'll see! You'll all see!"

"Did you hear about the new Kanye track? Its the one about the lesbians riding three wheeled bicycles on a naturally occuring water dam? Its just dykes on trikes on dikes."