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Joke of the Day

"The NSA hired Sarah Palin so she could keep an eye on Edward Snowden"

"""honey, I can't wait to do missionary later!"" *Gets excited* *Wife leaves for third world country-helps many*"

"dishes laundry vacuuming dusting me *Things that won't get done today."

"Hitler was a bad guy... But then again he did kill hitler. But he also killed the guy that killed hitler, so..."

"You - ""Have you seen the clown that hides from gay people?"" Friend - ""No?"" You - ""Didn't think so"""

"Saturday night, time to get crazy! *shuffles Uno cards*"

"I have a good joke about a nice balloon. Oh wait. It just got away from me."

"A car is just a very small room with wheels"

"I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex... I'm tired. I'm washing my hair. I've got a headache. I am your sister-in-law."

"The teacher asks her 6th graders: ""Can anyone tell me the definition of relative humidity?"" Johnny: ""The sweat on your balls when you're fucking your cousin!"""