25872

Joke of the Day

"I was going to write a novel but I may just print out all my tweets and dedicate it to my parents not loving me enough."

"Did you know that six days a week T.G.I. Friday's thanks God for nothing?"

"What do you get when you cross Hilter, the Terminator, and Cthulhu? Don't stick around to find out!"

"FACT : Half of all missing person reports involve people trying to find their way out of IKEA."

"My friend asked me if I wanted to skip class. I said ""nah, I think I'll pass."""

"Q: What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent? A: Squeaky clean clothes."

"Do you want to hear a joke about a psychologist? - Yes. - Why?"

"Girl are you a ringtone? Because you're really annoying and just get louder when I ignore you."

"My girlfriend said to me... ""If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."" Turns out she meant together."

"Trump may not fulfill all of his campaign promises... ...but he sure is making Saturday Night Live great again."