115361

Joke of the Day

"[job interview] ""What's your.."" *interrupts* -My greatest strength is my work ethic ""Well played. Welcome to the psychic friends network"""

"Why did the pedophile cross the road? To get to the other slide."

"Why was the rabbit hopping in circles? Because I shot its leg off."

"What does Hitler and Barney Stinson have in common? They are both legend... wait for it ...aryan"

"""I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy"" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation."

"Wanna hear my favorite 4/20 joke? Heh... what?"

"What's bloody and painful and happens once a month? Flossing"

"What do Hitler and Boston have in common? Neither can finish a race."

"*hears a loud noise outside of bedroom door at night* *wife reaches over* ""Honey- WHERE ARE YOU?"" *already locked myself in the bathroom*"

"Sometimes you just need a cunning linguist to get a tiny pianist joke. [[ Obligatory text]]"