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Joke of the Day

"What do Hitler and Boston have in common? Neither can finish a race."

"Where do impoverished Italians live? In the spaghetto"

"Did you hear about the reusable condoms? When you're done, turn them inside out and shake the fuck out of them."

"A bartender walks into a barn... The horse says, ""Hey, why the wrong place?"""

"I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won't find them."

"Is it official now that Glenn Frey is running on empty? Too soon I know, I'm so sorry! My friend just said this and I couldn't help but laugh."

"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? Artificial Intelligence."

"If you were to wrap a cloud as a gift, what would you wrap it with? A RAINBOW!"

"Shitty one-liner: Giiirl, you can call me Saturday-Sunday, cuz I'm all you're gonna be doin' this weekend. Is this a thing? It feels like it has to have been a thing and I just forgot where."

"Twitter is the only place where you're thrilled when a complete stranger starts following you."