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Joke of the Day

"Why did the pedophile cross the road? To get to the other slide."

"100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. ... 100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom!"

"Where would you find the scientist who loved to f$@k dogs? In the lab."

"What's the difference between redneck newlyweds and two variables in a dataset? The variables aren't necessarily related."

"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame."

"ANAESTHETIST: Count backwards from 100 ME: 100..99..98 ME: ..3..2..1..um [looks round] now what? ANAESTHETIST [muffled] You have to find me"

"I consider Words with Friends a work-related activity because it helps me take my mind off being stuck in this shithole."

"*Dentist's waiting room* *Trying to make conversation with other patient* So... I guess you have teeth, too?"

"someone adopt my gpa because i can't raise it myself"

"Having mutual friends with someone does not mean you should add them on Facebook. It's like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, ""Hey we both know Mike, John, and Sara. You mind if I come in?"