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Joke of the Day

"Zombie Apocalypse has begun... Man, it's hectic out there. I've killed like 6 zombies already. How's everyone else holding up? Anyone know why they all have bags of candy?"

"I've come from the future to let you know the Chilean miners will be OK, and that we haven't yet perfected time travel."

"How can a male get a maid for free? He gets married."

"They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug."

"Yo momma's so stupid when she tried to commit suicide, she killed her twin."

"My girlfriend is like my iPhone 6 I don't have an iPhone 6"

"Apparently, the serving size for Oreos is ""until you feel gross."""

"Doctor Griffith offers both Veterinary and Taxidermy services. His tag line is ""Either way, you get your pet back""."

"Him: Why do you wear riding boots? You don't ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers? You don't sneak."

"A party without Vodka is just a meeting."