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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is like my iPhone 6 I don't have an iPhone 6"

"Did you hear about the romantic comedy that has a cast consisting only of Vine stars? They've already announced the title: ""P.S. I Got 'Eem""."

"My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool *badum pssssh*"

"Whats the difference between driving and getting a blowjob? I can only hold one beer when I'm driving."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a homicidal rapist."

"Did you hear the one about the woman with a breast implant made of wood? It would be funny if it had a punchline Wooden tit"

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 20% off."

"A man goes to his doctor The doctor says ""Sir, you have HIV"", the man responds ""Wow, you can't even trust your own kids these days!""."

"Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy"