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Joke of the Day

"Dream girl: -tall -skinny -can pull off wearing a hat -honest -a fan of the theater -abolished slavery -is Abraham Lincoln"

"How do you get a Nun pregnant? Dress her up as an Altar Boy"

"What Do You Call it When Printers Have a Party? A paper jam"

"Wife: ""Was that lightning?!"" Me: ""No, they're taking pictures for Google earth..."""

"What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia? Haram bae"

"What's got 24 balls and screws small animals? A shotgun shell."

"How many Mexicans does it take to fit a lightbulb Juan"

"I married a moonshiners daughter Now she makes me liquor"

"Helluva guy John is a hellava guy. Type of guy who goes out on a Friday night, gets a couple of blow jobs, comes back and gives his buddy one."

"Marriage is like a pack of cards... Marriage is like a pack of cards: all you need at the start are two hearts and a diamond, but you end up wishing you had a club and a spade..."