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Joke of the Day

"Helluva guy John is a hellava guy. Type of guy who goes out on a Friday night, gets a couple of blow jobs, comes back and gives his buddy one."

"Someone just suggested that I use Mapquest. I suggested that he use a rotary phone."

"What's the difference? What's the difference between a midget acrobatic team and a girls track team? The midgets are a bunch of cunning runts."

"What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler? How red their necks are."

"An Irish Joke, that I did not initially get. I am Irish as well... How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None"

"ME: *3D prints a girlfriend* Hey baby 3D Girlfriend: *3D prints a boyfriend* I have a boyfriend"

"Newtown's First Law (OC) Newtown's First Law: For every crisis, there is an opportunistic power-grab by the government to trade freedom for 'security'."

"What do Whitney Houston and Antarctica have in common? 100% chance of snow"

"Is the end of the world happening right now? The internet is not working on my phone, so that was my first logical conclusion."

"What do you call it when wolves get bad breath? Howl-itosis."