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Joke of the Day

"Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It."

"Sent my ex a card that said, ""Get better soon."" He's not ill, just really crap in bed."

"Tinder - Indian Edition Heard about the Indian edition of the Tinder dating app? No matter how many times you swipe, it keeps showing the same (arranged) partner."

"Q: Why did the elephants go on a diet? A: Because they had too much junk in the trunk."

"What's the difference between a microwave and butt fucking? A microwave doesn't brown your meat."

"I think I burn most my calories at the gym untangling headphones."

"I always get ""never shake a baby"" and ""cats always land on their feet"" mixed up. Anyways I need a lawyer."

"What do you call a white supremacist who fights aliens at night? A white power ranger"

"My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!"

"I have a friend who is pregnant. Trouble is, she slept around so much that she has no idea who the mother is."