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Joke of the Day
"My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!"
Next Joke
"What does a time traveler do when he's hungry? He goes back 4 seconds."
"At the Airport Customs: Where is your passport Me: *hands credit card* Customs: You can't bribe me Me: It's my visa"
"You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."
"How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They don't believe in a higher power."
"Definition of a Will: It's a dead giveaway."
"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: I'm just gonna nap for an hour then"
"My girlfriend asked if I wanted to fast today and I thought she said fist. As a result, she was not amused and she may be pressing charges."
"Santa is on honeymoon this Christmas."
"A surprising number of people, even in 2010, lack the depth perception to sit in the right airplane row on the first try."