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Joke of the Day

"I have a friend who is pregnant. Trouble is, she slept around so much that she has no idea who the mother is."

"When I see stars I think of you Because you're only beautiful from a distance"

"I just saw two guys high five. What the hell? I thought we got rid of these people."

"Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? Because they are all wet."

"I lost ten pounds! Learn my hot diet secret! (I replaced booze with pot)"

"What do you call a happy penguin? A pengrin!"

"A cow made a joke but it was too cheesy"

"What does Santa Claus call his more thuggish elves? Gangsta wrappers!"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay to see a lentil."

"On Chick-fil-a... Do they realize they're serving cock between buns?"