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Joke of the Day

"I firmly believe in taking care of one's body... That's why I protect mine in a thick layer of fat."

"Proof that Bush did 7/11 Jet fuel cant melt ICEE's"

"I heard Lincoln is doing well in theaters Traditionally, this has not been true."

"you may think the reason there is a pickaxe in the ice sculpture of a swan is 'i was trying to break the ice' but it is actually 'i hate it'"

"What is the difference between a pregnant lady and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb"

"What's the difference between you and a baby bird. The bird got laid."

"[Different version] How to be insulting Never mind, you wouldn't get it"

"Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers"

"So I bought some shoes from a guy on the street... Anyways he turned out to be a drug dealer, and I'm not sure what they were laced with but I just keep trippin'."

"How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Both of them."