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Joke of the Day

"Proof that Bush did 7/11 Jet fuel cant melt ICEE's"

"I phoned my boss. I said, ""I'm calling in sick tomorrow."" ""But, how do you know you're going to be ill?"" he asked. I swear, sometimes he forgets that he works in a psychic shop."

"*paramedic holds me as a I lay dying* ME: Tell my family.. all I ever wanted..was a robot butler PM: With a top hat? ME: Of course you idiot"

"What is a Queens job? She Queens and vacuums"

"Q: Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover? A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum. **X-post : /r/ScienceHumour**"

"How do blind doctors deliver babies? With a can't c-section."

"What did one cheese say to the other? I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!"

"What's six feet tall , silver and stands at the end of kids beds? Gary Glitters boots."

"I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long. "

"I saw a lady at work today doing ""breathing exercises"" and realized for the first time how lucky I was that breathing came naturally to me."