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Joke of the Day

"you may think the reason there is a pickaxe in the ice sculpture of a swan is 'i was trying to break the ice' but it is actually 'i hate it'"

"Why are you breaking up with me? ""You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird"" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands"

"I used to live with a girl ...until she realized I was there"

"Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a Cracker Jack box) Because pepper water makes them sneeze!"

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

"If your coffee tastes like mud... It's probably fresh ground..."

"They say 1 in every 4 men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends. I wonder which one of them 7 is, I really need a cock in my ass."

"What do right-handed people hate most? [NSFW] Having to switch hands at the computer."

"Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence. "

"Why can't black people swim? Because there is no water in Africa."