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Joke of the Day

"Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left."

"Favorite Mythological Creature Someone on tumblr who isn't oppressed"

"You know what they say about guys who don't remember their circumcision... Ignorance is briss."

"I walked into an explosives shop the other day and wanted to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went horribly wrong when the cashier asked for my pin."

"I hope that Senator Franken runs for President in 2020 and picks Jill Stein as his running mate That'd be a real Franken/Stein ticket"

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."

"What's a duck's favorite drug? Quack."

"fart liner ""Did you hear what that asshole said?"" ""No, What?"" ""Oh Shit!"""

"I'm so pale all of my relationships are interracial."

"What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, ""When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?"" ###SOMEDAY ###SOMEDAY! ###SOMEDAY!!"