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Joke of the Day

"What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, ""When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?"" ###SOMEDAY ###SOMEDAY! ###SOMEDAY!!"

"UK: We call it ""Autumn"", from the French word ""Automne"", and later, from the Latin ""autumnus"". USA: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN"

"I told my girlfriend I would see her next year before I left for work She laughed because she got the joke. I wasn't joking. I'm leaving her"

"This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop... I can raise my cat any way I want to."

"Have you ever read the serial number on a condom before? No? You have to unroll it 2 more inches!"

"Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope. That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"A World War II joke What was the German Shepard's defense at his Nuremberg trial? ""I was just following odors."""

"Why didn't the dog want to play football ? It was a boxer !"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - FrankenBarbie ...comes with bolts through her neck"

"What do hookers do on their night off: type?"