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Joke of the Day

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."

"Knock Knock St. Patricks Day edition. Knock knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you would open the door I'm freezing out here!"

"I've discovered my home doesn't have a basement. It was just the estate agent doing that walking down the stairs thing behind the couch"

"My 9 year daughter asked me: ""Daddy can we buy money?"" ... Me: Buy money? Using what? Daughter: Aaa ... Apples? Me: That's called ""Selling Apples"" not buying money."

"How does a one liner hurt its readers? With its punchline"

"I'm going through a phase of categorizing my life in phases. I call this one my 'phase' phase."

"HELP!!! I forgot it's Mother's Day! I need some quick Mother's Day Present."

"What are the four food groups? For bachelors: Fast Frozen Junk and Spoiled. For drinkers: Malt Hops Barley and Yeast. For heavies: Caffeine Fat Sugar Chocolate."

"Why doesn't the melon get married? Because it cantaloupe."

"what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You told her twice already... "