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Joke of the Day

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."

"When you accidentally type ""me"" instead of ""my"" I read your tweets as if you are a leprechaun."

"Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits."

"Instead of a flower girl, I want a parmesan boy to sprinkle cheese down the aisle at my wedding"

"NSFW I Had Sex With My Teacher Re-Dux I'm self-taught."

"I came in like a lion and went out like a kitten."

"As I looked at myself naked in the mirror I thought to myself... I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea in a minute."

"Old Wang says to his friend Old Chen It is so sweet, you have been married 50 years and you still call your wife 'sweetheart'. What is your secret? Chen says, ""it is because I have forgotten her name"""

"What did the baby cigarette want to be when it grew up? a Drag Queen"

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce ""unionized"""