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Joke of the Day

"Two cannibals, father and son, catch a blonde The son ""Dad, will we take her home and eat her?"" Dad ""No, we will take her home and eat your mom."""

"pet owner's tip: glue the very tip of your cat's tail to the center of their back to make a convenient cat-carrying handle."

"Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall. At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse."

"My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"World of Warcraft. The only time I let my 9 year old play with a priest."

"Whenever there's an awkward silence, try whispering, ""Did you forget your line?"""

"Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped."

"My wife kicked me in the balls today... She always goes for the low-hanging fruit."

"Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on the broom!...haha"

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."