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Joke of the Day
"I skipped the 9 puns and killed the last one. That's a pun in ten dead."
Next Joke
"I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious. Nobody saw me. Anthony Jeselnik."
"If an officer asks ""do you know why I pulled you over"" ""Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?"" is a bad answer, apparently."
"Due to an unforeseen error during last night's love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today"
"AMA request: Paul McCartney How big of an impact has Kanye been to your music career blowing up?"
"It doesn't matter if it's fight club or book club or some other kind of club, I guarantee I don't want to talk about it."
"What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ? Scott !"
"welcome to hipster church. this is my body *bites vegan cookie* this is my blood *sips garage-brewed IPA*"
"I don't know why, but books about medicine are hilarious. The section about urinary tract infections made me pee my pants."
"How many nails are there in a lesbian's coffin? None. It is all tongue and groove"