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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"Yo Mama so fat.. ..she walked past the TV and I missed 3 seasons!"

"The best part about twitter is that it is completely satisfying on a deep emotional level and in no way makes me feel empty inside."

"I accidentally left the refrigerator open while watching Game of Thrones (SPOILERS EVERTHING)"

"I'm sorry I jumped on you, from a distance you looked like a conclusion."

"What do you call a folder of child pornography? A pedo-file."

"How do cats let us know that they are in pain ? Me...........Owwwwww!!"

"There was a race between a group of gays and a group of lesbians. Who do you think got there first? The lesbians, because they got there lickety-split while the gays were still packing their shit."

"I once knew a guy... I once knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking alcohol, eating rich food and sex. He lived healthy until he killed himself."

"Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant."