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Joke of the Day
"You guys ever seen a cockatoo? Yeah? I bet you have."
Next Joke
"I bet pain pills are really disappointing to masochists not familiar with the language."
"Just realized I've been misquoting George Orwell since 1985."
"Everyone in ""Star Wars"". Everyone in ""The Muppets"". Everyone in ""Game of Thrones"". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters."
"Apparently filling animals with helium is ""abuse"", pfft Whatever floats your goat, I guess."
"The US government had a shutdown."
"Jesus loves you... ...with his whole mouth."
"Before this goes any further, it's important that I know your position on foreign films with subtitles."
"Have you seen my digital boat? Oh wait, its syncing."
"Where does the General keep his armies? Up his sleevies!"