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Joke of the Day

"Us New Yorkers try to stick to the four main food groups; pizza, pizza bagels, pizza pies, and cheesecake."

"What looks like half a sandwich? The other half."

"My friend overheard me saying I could go for some malt liquor. Instead, the bastard got me a box of Whoppers. ""What the hell is this?!"" I said. ""Suck on them. Now, you're a *malt licker*!"""

"Which profession has the worst sense of humour? Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes. But opticians like them *cornea*."

"Dwayne Johnson's new television show on the food network Can you cook what The Rock is smelling?"

"What do you call 69-ing in China? Tu Can Chu"

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return? Stick"

"It's called a ""remote"" because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel."

"What weebles and wobbles but can't get up? Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men"

"If the Scottish started to colonize North America before the British... Could I say that the Scott Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock?"