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Joke of the Day

"I just seen someone update their status on Facebook to ""I Wish Every Guy Was Like Jack From The Titanic."" What... Dead at the bottom of the ocean?"

"""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ""You thought I'd like your pretty lights?"" ""Recite the alphabet backwards"" ""I can't even do that sober"""

"Thank you, slow walking family in front of me on the footpath, No please, take your time.... and definitely spread out, so you create a barricade of idiots."

"What's the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup? Anyone can roast beef."

"Did you hear about the cannibal in the colosseum? He was gladiator."

"When someone has Taken your car who should you call? Liam Nissan"

"I went to a seafood disco last night... ... I pulled a muscle."

"Commandment XI: There Shall Be No Boner Sound Other Than ""Boioioioioioing"""

"I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password ""Have some respect for the dead!"" he said I replied ""Is that all lower case?"""

"The one-legged man couldn't understand an online tutorial. It had step-by-step instructions."