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Joke of the Day

"Just heard this oldie, but goodie from a friend Two does are walking out of a bar after a long night of drinking, and one turns to the other and says, ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks."""

"How can you smuggle 500 Jews across the border in one car? In an ash tray"

"The best part about Netflix is there are no commercials. On an unrelated note, does anyone know how to get urine stains out of a couch?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the moron's house. *knock knock* ^^Whose ^^there? *the chicken...*"

"How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, ""How many women have you slept with?"" he proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""

"Did you hear about the Mexican hit-man who was a chronic masturbator? He got excited when he was ordered to rub Juan out."

"What's the difference between a German and a Scot? The German knows when he's not speaking English."

"""It's terminal-"" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? ""Departure time is in three hours."" THREE? WHAT DO I DO? ""This is an airport."" SO WHAT? I'M DYING!"

"What is the difference between Kanye West and God? God doesn't think that He's Kanye."

"How many dicks do you have to suck before you know you're gay? Three, two for fun and one just to make sure."