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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a German and a Scot? The German knows when he's not speaking English."

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"At midnight, thousands of people will be at Times Square to witnesss Ryan Seacrest's balls drop."
"Why is gay marriage still a thing? Because people are fucking assholes"
"OOO! XOX. XXX!! - Reviews for ""TicTacToe, The Movie"""
"What's Miley Cyrus eating for Thanksgiving.. Twerky!"
"[In honor of Leonard Nimoy] How many ears does Spock have? Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier."
"How many Super Sayains does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!"
"[restaurant] ME: Do you have updog? WAITER: [sighs] No sir M: Ok, is this gluten free? W: No you have to pay for it M: Damn you're good"
"I recently had to stop making clothes for nuns... It was habit-forming."
"An Old Woman Commissions a Tombstone... ... she asks the carvers to write ""born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin."" It wouldn't fit on the face, so they just wrote ""Returned unopened."""