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Joke of the Day

"How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, ""How many women have you slept with?"" he proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""

"What's the difference between Prince and a White Dwarf? Nothing, they're both dead stars."

"The 1st rule of Female Fight Club is: You didn't hear this from me! Seriously do NOT tell anyone I told you, I promised I wouldn't tell."

"what's invisible and smells like carrots? rabbit farts"

"You've got to hand it to short people They usually can't reach it anyway."

"What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common? Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house."

"*stands by cucumbers at grocery store *feels intimidated *hides by baby carrots *gets ego boost"

"Show me a person who doesn't walk on the escalator and I'll show you a person who will transition poorly into the zombie apocalypse."

"Stevie Wonder (a bit racist) Stevie wonder was asked during an interview what it felt like to be blind. He answered, ""its not so bad. It could be worse, I could be black"""

"""Why don't you have kids yet?"" is a great question, ma'am, but I'm saving that conversation for the right total stranger at this gym."