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Joke of the Day

"I'm really worried what will happen if Donald Trump runs as a third party candidate. I'm afraid there will be hell toupee."

"So, a baby seal walks into a club."

"A helium atom walks into a bar The bartender says: sorry, we don't serve noble gases here. The helium atom doesn't react."

"'Vegetarian' is an old Indian word ... ... for 'bad hunter'."

"Why is Edward still in Russia? Because he is Snowd*en*"

"What do you call a Mexican mountain climber? Caribeaner"

"[answering door on halloween] NEIGHBORHOOD MOM: please stop giving the children hamsters ME *hands full of hamsters*: but it's Halloween"

"Gas dropped to 77 cents a gallon in some places in Michigan. But don't bother, it was leaded."

"What's the difference between a Youtuber and a hooker? Both are getting fucked, but the hooker's still getting paid."

"How do you kill a circus? You stab it in the juggler."