145106

Joke of the Day

"[answering door on halloween] NEIGHBORHOOD MOM: please stop giving the children hamsters ME *hands full of hamsters*: but it's Halloween"

"What's the difference between and egg and a wank? You can beat an egg."

"My doctor said diarrhea is hereditary. I guess it runs in your genes"

"I think I want to clean mirrors for a living It's just a job I can see myself doing"

"How many bears could Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears?"

"I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective"

"Why is Michael Jordan's Jersey number 23? Because then he will always be in prime."

"Tinder is such an useless app The only match it gave me was of my wife.."

"Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea"

"Our gold fish jumped out of his tank and the dog ate it.....I feel like there is a life lesson here but don't know what it is."