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Joke of the Day

"What does a German snake say? "

"my accountant: look at ur currently monthly budget: RENT: $800 GAS: $200 CHEEZ-ITS: $2,750 me: ur right, i need a cheaper place."

"How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? With scare spray."

"Religion is like a penis It's OK to be proud of yours, just don't try to shove it down your children's throat."

"You can literally take anything from anyone as long as you shout ""police emergency"" and run away"

"Bruno Mars is the best levitating vegetable magician I've ever seen. He can do 24 Carrot Magic in the Air"

"Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?"

"I'm the kind of person that likes to be honest on April Fools April fools!"

"I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board... I thought, I'll give it a Go."

"My girlfriend is NOT a library book You hear that guys? Stop checking her out."