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Joke of the Day
"My wife's maggot soup surprise is better than it used to be now that it is topped with coal ash."
Next Joke
"Where do people in Ghana go to watch football? The Ghanarena"
"[office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?"
"You've been robbed by *360 spin* A smooooth crimi- *trips over own feet, drops tv, & butt dials police*"
"ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know"
"Michelle Obama & Melania Trump meeting: *shaking hands* Michelle: Hi, I'm Michelle. Melania: Hi, I'm Michelle."
"I've been thinking about Oscar Pistorious's case... I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."
"I just got my first hand job. I'm officially a manicurist."
"Have you heard? Have you heard of the Arkadian Genocide? Exactly."
"Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because the didn't have the guts to do it."