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Joke of the Day

"Last night my mom made dinner, serving up a nice plate of ""You had so much potential"" with a steaming side of ""You shoulda married Jeff."""

"Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly a) Fond of stating the obvious, and b) Not a member of my family."

"What did one cancer cell say to the other cancer cell ? Let's go get Jobs."

"why does it take so long for a pirate to learn the alphabet? the could spend years at sea"

"Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition? He couldn't handle the pressure."

"me: *rubs lamp* genie: I will grant you three wishes me: can you go away I'm rubbing this lamp"

"If a lobsters come in on lobster boats, and clams come in on clam boats, what do crabs come in on? The captain's dinghy."

"Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone."

"RSVP: yes no yes now but then no later on"

"Sally Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (Reader says who's there) Not Sally."